"Mother May I?" and Reducing Regret
Are You Familiar with the Childhood Game 'Mother May I' ?
My son and his friends never played that game. Frankly, I’m surprised that I remember playing that game. (rules can be found on the internet)
Some childhood activities stay in vogue for generations: riding a bike, roller skating, playing hide and seek, and Ring around the Rosie (which has a weird background story… Google it.)
I know my mother played the game of jacks frequently for hours as a child, but she could never convince me or my sisters of the fun in it.
The list of past-generation childhood games goes on: jumping rope, tag, hopscotch (which is now a coding app), checkers, tic tac toe, and card games such as go fish or old maid.
Many of our childhood activities took place outside until we were called for dinner, followed by watching one of three television networks in black and white with no remote. The thought of skipping past commercials would have been considered science fiction. Remember rabbit ears that had nothing to do with rabbits or ears?
Do you look back on those times as the good old days? Whether you are nostalgic for the past or not, times have changed. I like that today’s children create PowerPoint Presentations by 3rd grade. Many of the progressions in technology experienced by our children/grandchildren will better prepare them for the world they will live in as adults.
We’ve moved on also. Remember how frustrating it was to continually stop and ask for directions from people who had the weirdest way of giving directions?
Or refolding a map that was too big and had too many folds to get it back to its original form. I am very grateful for GPS, voice mail, email, text messages, social media (sometimes), dishwashers (the non-human ones), clothes dryers (without clothespins), video calls, and digital photos.
Life Is a Series of Stages
Childhood, Adolescence, Teenage Years, Leaving Home, Falling in Love, Marriage and Childbirth, Middle Age, Empty Nesting, Children’s Weddings, and Baby Showers, Grandparenting, Retirement, Being Elderly, and Dying are life stages experienced not always in that order. When in one stage most of us focus on that stage rather than the fact that the next one will irrefutably follow… we just don’t know when.
Remember being freaked out by your first child sucking his/her thumb too long, resisting using the potty, refusing to give up their blankie. Well, it was just a stage… no one goes to college sucking on a pacifier (unless filled with vodka).
For each stage, the experiences of one generation are significantly different from the following generation. Debilitating college debt, 24/7 connectivity to the internet, gay marriage, dating apps, destination weddings, female astronauts in space, baby gender reveals, opioid addictions, senior living communities, and hospice would have all been foreign concepts to my grandmother.
“Nanny” lived through the 1918 pandemic and was a teenager during the Roaring 20s. We were very close. She died when I was in my early 30s and caring for my infant son many states away. I did ask her a lot of questions during her life about her past, as did my sisters, but we didn’t document the information and we have forgotten or disagreed about her answers. Big Regret!
Reducing Regret About Unanswered Questions or Untold Stories of Loved Ones Is What We Do
It Gets More and More Challenging to Gift Mom as She Gets Older… Mother’s Day 2022 is on the Horizon
Ask most mothers what their most rewarding experience in life was and the answer is ‘being a mom’.
Motherhood is not easy, but the challenges are greatly over-showered by the rewards. Those snuggles and kisses from younger children, those proud moments during their adolescence, those mature conversations when they are young adults, those happy tears when they marry, the joy of seeing them raise their children… all are precious experiences.
When they are young in school, Mother’s Day cards are likely drawings on construction paper. Once they are able, they may bring you breakfast in bed on that special day. Some do physical labor such as washing your car or cleaning the house as a gift. As adults, gifts such as jewelry, perfume, bathrobes, or luggage accompany sentimental (and now quite expensive) Hallmark cards.
Then one day we realize our mom has everything she wants or needs. Now, she is downsizing her non-essential possessions. This is when flowers/plants and dinner/brunch at a nice restaurant are more appropriate.
Perhaps it is also the time to ask, “Mother May I” capture and document your life story memories?”
Video Journals Online Can Make a Life Story Memory Video via a Zoom Interview in merely two hours.
We are here to help.